Yesterday I wrote a somewhat(okay very) bitter post about how I was friend-zoned. I was extremely hurt, and frustrated. I'd been texting one of my closest friends about what was going on, and it seemed like they were just tearing apart all of my thoughts. I couldn't handle it anymore. I wrote that, then bolted out of my apartment. I didn't get far before I started sobbing.
Fortunately, I have some amazing friends. I was able to go over to one of my girl-friends apartment and let it all out. That really helped (of course the cookies and hot chocolate probably didn't hurt either). Anyway. I calmed down after a while, and was able to get some reading done for my PLSC class.
As I was talking with my friend, the friend I'd mentioned in the first paragraph sent me a text asking if I had prayed about the situation. I told him that I hadn't, but would that night. I did - -I asked for understanding and strength. Let me just say, God answers prayers!
Today, after my classes were done, I was walking home with the guy who friend-zoned me on Monday. As we were walking, he mentioned that he was going to check if the Bookstore had any flowers that he could get for the girl he now likes. At this point, I was very tempted to burst out with an angry question. However, I held my tongue. I even offered him the rose that an Angel in my Arabic class had given me. He said no thanks, and continued looking.
Anyway -- to make a long story short, as we were walking out of the bookstore, he said that he knew what I was up to -- I was trying to be helpful, no matter how much it hurt. I responded by saying that I wasn't going to yell at him or ignore him - -I still wanted to be friends. And so that meant I would be happy for him. The rest of our conversation isn't important, but that idea is.
I've read many stories, seen many movies and seen real life situations in which, after breaking up with someone/being broken up with, a girl can't tolerate the sight of her ex, and is especially bitter when that person finds someone else. To me though, that seems backwards. Now, this guy and I weren't actually dating, and so the situation is a bit different. However, I cared deeply for him. I might even go so far as to say I loved him. I still do -- in a platonic way. My point is, if you care deeply for someone, so much so that you want their happiness more than anything, why should you hate anything that causes them happiness?
It would be really easy for me to hate the girl that he likes now. But no -- I consider her one of my friends. I also consider him one of my friends. So, if I hated them, not only would I be losing two friends, but I would be robbing him of the one thing I want him to have most of all -- happiness.
As I came to this realization, I realized that I didn't hurt as much. Hating someone, or even disliking them, really does just hurt you more in the end. As soon as I let go, and realized that I could be happy for him, my entire outlook changed. Now, I won't deny that I hope by still hanging around him he'll see just what he lost, but I won't be too broken up if that doesn't happen. He deserves to find happiness the way he thinks best. Actually, he's entitle to - he's entitled to the pursuit of happiness. I want happiness too -- so there is no way I will ever deny that right to another human being.
So, in sum: forgive. God answers prayers -- I wanted to know what good could come from this. Well, I better know my own strength, and I gained some insight into life. Also -- for those Americans reading this, remember the inalienable rights: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. If you want those rights, how can you justify standing in the way of what others do with them?
Just some things to think about, from me here on My Crazy Life. :D
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